What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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