This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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