Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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