also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
