the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
