Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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