Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
