I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
