Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize