32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
