Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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