Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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