thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize