remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Bring me that man meat
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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