we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
