i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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