I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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