So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
