my soul wont recognize me after tonight
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
