I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
