Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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