my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
