I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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