he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
