Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
