What a fucking waste of an outfit
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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