There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
