I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
