New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
