I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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