i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
