so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
