Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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