do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize