So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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