people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
