go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
