I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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