so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
