We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
