Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
