my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
