Do you still have your period?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
