Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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