Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
