Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
