spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
