3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
