your thong is hanging out like whoa
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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