So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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