There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize