Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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