Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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