is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize