After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize