I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dignity is for republicans.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
