the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
