Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
