Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize