Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
