you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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