i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
