grandma shit on top of the toilet
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
