maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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