don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
