I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
