sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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