Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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