forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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