i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
