is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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