Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
