I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
