Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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