i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
