did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
