Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
