When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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